A quieter day (still) is not coming

I don’t know if it’s anything to do with living in the 21st Century but it seems as if most of us lead incredibly busy lives. I think some of this is self-imposed – and some of it is habit – we’re just used to rushing around and not used to being quiet and living at a slower pace of life. Whatever the reason there is truth in the saying that you may have heard me say before:  “A quieter day is not coming!” 

I heard the sad news recently of someone who died a week after they’d told their colleagues how busy they were and how they were struggling to get everything done. The reality is we can never get it all done but busyness shouldn’t stop us from getting some things done.  The key thing is to work out what’s really important and focus on ensuring you get that done.  Now is a good time to look back at 2021 and see what you achieved that was important to you. You might have had a busy year but did you move your life forward in the way you wanted.  If the answer is Yes that’s great – but perhaps you didn’t do some of the things you really wanted to do. You can get the opportunty to do them in 2022 as long as you structure your life accordingly. That means planning to get the things done you want… and not keep putting them off for another day – with that erroneous mantra of “I’ll do that when I have a bit of time”.

I’ve learnt an important lesson in the last six months (and I only learnt it by living it, as I’d heard it all before) and that is: if you want to get something done, set yourself a goal and a deadline to do it in. I’m sure you’ve heard it before but have you actually done it? Not just the setting of the goal but giving yourself a deadline. It’s powerful trust me. Without a deadline – all sorts of things get in the way and effectively stop you getting done that thing you want. So that’s a very important part of goal setting.

The other key thing that really has helped me ‘get stuff done’ is telling other people.

So perhaps you want to build a new shed in your garden and you’ve been wanting to do it for years. Set a date by which you’ll get it done and TELL your friends, neighbours and family. The more people you tell the better. You see just telling them will cement the goal in your mind, and make you take action to achieve it. Why? Because you know all those people you’ve told will be waiting to hear how your project is going and will be expecting it done by the date you’ve told them.

You can apply the same principles to dating. Set yourself the goal of meeting say 6 people this year. That means contacting lots of people and then arranging to meet those that you strike up a connection with. It’s more work than it might sound. But tell your friends you aim to meet 6 new people by the end of the year, and it’ll make a real difference to your doing so. And I can assure you this will impact your dating success.

It’s an amazing feeling when you achieved what you set out to achieve.   Sadly in terms of dating and meeting new people we hear so many members tell us that they just haven’t had the time to make contact (whether by letter, phone or email) with other members. Before they know it,  months and months have flown by and they’ve made no progress in their personal lives. Yes they were busy but perhaps busy with things that ultimately weren’t a real priority for them when they look back over the year.

So don’t wait for a “bit of time” to get your personal life sorted. Set yourself a goal –give it a definite timescale and commit to telling at least 3 other people what your goal and timescale is. I can promise you it’ll be worth it and if you apply this to dating, then I am pretty sure you’re going to be amazed at the result.

Of course if you do want to set a dating goal, with a deadline but you don’t want to tell friends and family about it, then use us. Give us a ring, tell us what goal you’ve set, what the deadline is and we’ll monitor it for you.


How to set goals for dating?

Like any other goals, setting goals for your Christian dating is about being S.M.A.R.T. – S of Specific, M for Measurable, A for Achievable, R for Realistic and T for Timely.

So for example you might set a goal of getting married within the next 6 months. That wouldn’t meet all the SMART criteria so wouldn’t be a wise goal to set.

However, setting a goal of going on 6 dates in the next 6 months would be a SMART goal. Once you’ve set a SMART goal, work backwards to determine each step and start working on what you need to reach that step. Once you start doing this you’ll find you have an action plan that gives you a clear way forward. Then you can implement it and expect to see results. Good luck