Dating Advice – Beware of Your criteria
The gorgeous cat I gave my husband a year before we married, that was a big part of our family life, very sadly died whilst we were away last summer.
To our amazement when we returned from holiday a friend who had lent us her car for our holiday, told us that her cat had just had kittens and would we like one. What a stroke of fortune we thought. About 4 weeks later we duly visited this friend to see what the kittens were like.
Now I’ve only had short haired cats and haven’t ever really liked the look of long-haired cats. To my dismay when we turned up at our friend’s house, not only was the mother long haired but the kittens looked like they would be long haired too. Apart from the fact that they were black and white (which is what I had been hoping for – although our previous cat was a very beautiful tabby) with rather too much white on them, I really didn’t think I wanted a long-haired cat.
Luckily our friend was very relaxed about whether we took them or not (they weren’t ready to leave mum at that point, so we had a few weeks to make up our minds) so off we went home, and I started researching other options to find our next cat. Well although you might think and hear there are hundreds of kittens out there – it seemed when I started looking, that there actually weren’t any available at all.
I’m rather ashamed to say, that given we had no other option, we agreed to take our friends kittens – the ones we’d seen on our visit to her. And because they were brother and sister, we decided to have them both.
Now an interesting thing has happened. Remember my dislike of long-haired cats?
Benny and Maggie had been with us for about 5 weeks and we have completely and totally and absolutely fallen in love with them. Not only are they so adorably cute (well what little creature isn’t cute?) but they have such wonderful characters. And they make us laugh SO much. They have different characters that we see in the way they play, practice their hunting skills, interact with each other, find their favourite places, sleep, and eat and even their toilet habits.
Truth be told I don’t even see Benny’s long hair anymore – though he is definitely taking after his mother in this respect. And frankly Maggie’s hair is not perfect – it’s not going to be the soft hair of cats I’m used to – but rather something rougher. Do I mind? Of course not. I have fallen in love with them as cats – not with how they look.
Why am I telling you this?
Because of course, the judgements I made in advance about what I thought I was looking for in our next cat, are exactly the same as the ones you are making when thinking about the criteria of the soul mate you are hoping to find. Base your judgements on anything apart from character – and I assure you you’ll probably stay single or go on dates and completely miss the person who could be just perfect for you (even if they aren’t the perfect representation of what is in your criteria).
And remember you can’t judge someone until you know their character. It’s taken us a good 3 weeks of spending 12 hours a day with our kittens to begin to get to know what they are like. One day with someone certainly isn’t going to show you someone’s character that’s for sure.
So, take a lesson out of my book from learning not to judge kittens from the outside. I’m so, so glad we didn’t reject these kittens just because of the way they looked. Yes, maybe we could have found kittens that looked 100% what we wanted – but I’m not convinced that is the case – and I do know we’d have wasted a lot of time and money looking – and even if we had found them, I doubt we’d be any happier with those kittens than we our with what we have now.