Contact Etiquette

We’ve had a couple of ladies report to us that certain men are ‘harassing’ them.

Now I’m sure as a man you certainly would not want to be considered as someone who harasses women, and perhaps you would be very surprised if you were told that a lady had complained about you.

Your surprise would probably come because you might think you are contacting and getting in touch with the women we send you, and that you are being proactive and showing them that you are keen.

But there is keenness and being very proactive, and then there is being a nuisance.

So if you have left a couple (let’s say THREE as a maximum) messages for someone, and they have not called you back, then DO NOT keep trying to contact them. If you keep trying to call them and keep leaving messages, the woman may well consider you to be a nuisance and may well feel harassed.

Remember it’s what she feels that is important – NOT whether you consider your actions to be OK or not.

Whilst we are on the subject of contacting others, please be aware of some general good practice guidelines:

Do not call people before 8.30am in the morning or after 9pm at night UNLESS you have previously arranged that calling outside of these times is acceptable to that person.

Do not leave endless messages for someone. One or two is quite sufficient. If someone does not respond to your telephone messages, then consider dropping them a letter/email to see if you can get hold of them that way. If they still don’t respond to you, you can always ask us to find out if your messages have got through to them, and if there is a reason why they aren’t responding (as we ask all member to be courteous enough to do so).

If someone has told you they don’t think your friendship can go any further, accept that information and move on! Do not keep going back to them to try and change their mind. You are very unlikely to get the result you want, and are more likely to create a very bad impression of yourself.