Why having great dating pictures is critically important in Christian dating.

By Katharine Gray

In all walks of life, whether we are reading a magazine or dating profile, our human eyes are drawn first and foremost to pictures. This has been proven by extensive research.

So given this fact, having a great picture on your dating profile is really important because it’s the first thing someone will see and it’s the first thing they will base their judgement of you on. Like it or not (and most of us don’t like it!) it’s a fact.

You could be Prince or Princess charm itself, and wonderfully good looking,  but use a passport photo on your dating profile as your dating photograph and most people will very quickly move on. You’ve heard me say it before, but everyone’s passport photographs make them look like a criminal and you are no exception. And snaps off your phone (oh please don’t take a selfie) or your friends phone aren’t much better either.

I take A LOT of photographs on my phone. I take lots of my friends and family. But if I wanted to use one of my pictures of any of them for a dating profile, I know I’d be hard pressed to find a really decent one. Why? Because they are all snaps and I am not a professional – i.e. someone who knows how to take a great photo, getting the light just right, getting the subject in the right place and making them relax in such a way that their true nature comes across. Professionals are professionals because they know how to do this. The rest of us don’t!

So many people seem to think that a dating photograph isn’t very important because they themselves will be proactive in searching for other people, and if someone is going to judge them on their pictures then they aren’t the person for them. This may at first glance be reasonable thinking, but in the dating world you just can’t think and act this way. Well you can, but the outcome of dating is in this way is very likely to be poor, and you’ll walk away feeling disappointed at best, disillusioned and crushed at worst.

Given that people make snap judgements on your dating photographs, it’s so worth while spending a bit of time and effort getting this right – and doing this at the very beginning of your  journey.

Think how you want to come across. Do you want to seen as light hearted, joyful and open? In that case some lovely pictures of you smiling in an open pose are important. Or perhaps you are a very serious person and you only want to meet other serious people. In that case have some studious pictures of yourself taken.  We’ve all seen pictures of women with low cut cleavages or men with no tops on. Does this create a good impression? I’ve rarely met anyone who thinks it does – unless you’ve come across a site where everyone is simply looking for a one night stand. Dress or look like that and that’s probably what you’ll get. There’s no place for that with friendsfirst however.

Yes it costs a bit of cash and time to have some professional photographs taken – but if this makes the difference between someone contacting you or not contacting you, then it’s worth every penny.

Think of a site like Tinder which is founded on swiping Yes or No based purely on seeing someone’s pictures. How many wonderful people have missed out finding their soul mate because they took an instantaneous decision on someone based on a photograph. And got that decision wrong. Of course they’ll never know but I’d hazard a guess it’ll be millions and millions of people.

If you have paid money to be part of a dating organisation, dating website or app, or even if you’re using a free one (there’s no such thing as free by the way) then do yourself a massive favour and get yourself some decent pictures of you done. And put more than one on! Remember this is about what other people think of you  – and what goes through their head when they see your picture or pictures. If you just put one photo on your profile – and other profiles have say six or seven pictures on – then it says person a) – i.e. you hasn’t made much effort, compared to person b) with six pictures who’s made a lot of effort. Who seems keener to meet people? Person b of course.

I hear our members say “I think one picture is enough – I’ll see how it goes”. Quite honestly that’s like being invited to a singles party where you know there are going to be masses of single people and going unwashed, smelling and in rags thinking if the party is any good you’ll get dressed up later. You wouldn’t do that would you? No of course not – you’d make the effort to look nice, putting your nicest outfit on and going with the intention of making the best of the opportunity. So why treat a dating profile any differently? Sadly that’s what many people unwittingly do – and then they wonder why dating isn’t working for them.

So remember, your dating pictures are the first impressions you’re giving other people. Make a great first impression (and you only have one chance and a few seconds to get this right) and you’ll find your dating experience is off to a fantastic start.

FAQ’s on Dating  Profiles

What pictures should I put on my dating profile?

You need to put up to date (taken within the last 3 months) pictures of yourself(!) that reflect the best parts of your personality. Be well dressed, and look kindly and approachable.  A selection of pictures is a good thing to do. Have one close up of your face – then a full length picture of you, and then put some pictures in that illustrate what you do with your life. So for example if you love reading, have a picture of you reading. If you love tennis, get a picture of you on the tennis court. Make your pictures interesting and you’ll capture other people’s attention and interest. This is what a good dating profile is all about.

How do you take good pictures of dating?

Get a professional to take a good picture of you for your dating profile. Professional photographers know how to make you look your best. They know how to make you relax and how to ‘set’ the picture so the light is right and the background works best. Avoid selfies and snaps taken by friends. They simply won’t do you justice.

How do you pick pictures for online dating?

Pick the photographs that make you come across in the nicest and friendliest way. Pick the ones with the best lighting. Don’t use pictures of you 10 years ago – even if you looked better then. Ask a friend if you’ve selected the right ones. A second opinion especially over pictures of yourself is always valuable.