Your Profile Is Critical

Guest article by friendsfirst member Claire (business coach)

Anyone hate putting together their dating profile?

Knowing where to start and how much to include can be a real challenge. Too much (ladies!) and we appear so competent in all areas of life that the inclusion of a male in the mix, might seem superfluous to requirements. But if there is too little (chaps!) it can look really dreary and we wonder what we’ll talk about on that all too elusive date.

Try thinking of your profile as the nutrition label on the tin. You want to make it interesting enough for the reader to feel there is no alternative but to open the tin and have a look inside – go on a date to find out more. Your nutrition label needs to make it easy for people to contact you, with as many points of contact as possible. Remember, not everyone wants to phone or text – make it easy for others to open the tin and look inside.

Can you think of the most ridiculous dating pseudonym you’ve seen? I won’t mention the one I’m thinking of but can assure you the picture in no way matched the name; so much so it made the poor chap look ridiculous. From the Times ‘rules of being a man over 40’ last year, Rule 14 seemed apposite and definitely worth pondering:

“Rule 14. Body art, consideration of:
Consider a tattoo, by all means. Consider it until you’re blue in the face, green on the arms and red across your chest. But don’t imagine it’ll substitute for a personality.”

Before you saintly Christians shriek about the rights and wrongs of tattoos – understand  the message, please. A badly chosen dating name that you think sounds as cool as it is attractive, won’t generate you a personality. That comes, as a minimum, from showing an interest in the outside world and being more than one dimensional.

If you’re really struggling with your profile, ask a friend to help you. Someone you trust – not your mother; she’s biased! Whilst on the subject of mothers, much as we love them if they’re still around, please don’t rely on them (boys) for help with your wardrobe advice. Just because she’s knitted the jumper doesn’t make it suitable for a date. Two of my female friends have helped me with my profile and Friends 1st offer lots of ideas and assistance in this magazine and in your starter pack.

Think about changing your profile regularly, with different emphases – see what different responses you elicit. I can hear you all yelling at the page “WHAT RESPONSES?!” Katharine Gray would tell us to get a move on and contact people, almost regardless of their profiles. Apparently, we’re as bad as each other at putting them together and there’s nothing quite like meeting to find out more about each other. Dating can be fun, especially when you remember there is no holy obligation to marry just because you’ve been on one or two dates. Bon appetite!