Girl with bright yellow background smiling and positive

How to turn negativity into positivity and why it matters

 For many people dating is a difficult activity. It starts off positively with great hopes and expectations (rightly so), but it only takes one or two knocks – or things not going quite as you’d hoped they might – for feelings of negativity to creep into your life and take away the positivity.

In the Bible book Song of Songs Verse 2:15 we read “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.” Now this verse relates to getting rid of the small things – those things that can build up – that could start to destroy a relationship, but I think it can be used for other situations as well (not least that of trying to find a relationship).

Let’s look at it in the context of dating.

Beware of the negative thoughts that can derail you in your quest for a partner. For example, perhaps you’ve been disappointed with someone who has contacted you – or perhaps you haven’t found the ‘right’ person to contact – or perhaps no-one has contacted you at all – and before you know it you’re feeling despondent and down. The positivity is waning.

Be careful of how you deal with this feeling – and in particular who you share it with. My advice would certainly be to share it with God. But not to share it with other members – because no-one likes a moaner (which is what you’ll sound like) – and moaning certainly won’t reflect well on you. (It is well know that a negative person will bring out the negativity in you but on the other hand a positive person will bring out the positivity in you.)

But what can you do with these feelings then – which are real and genuine? Here are two suggestions for you to try.

Firstly, try to practice thankfulness.

That might seem a strange thing to say when you’re probably feeling the opposite of thankful but hear me out. Maybe this part of your life may not be going as well as you want just now – but surely there are many other areas of your life that you have lots to be thankful for. Dwelling on these things – regularly and consistently – is a great way to not only become a brighter sunnier person (which is hugely attractive by the way) but it’s also very good for your mental health and wellbeing. By contrast studies have shown that negative people often have a shorter lifespan!

Secondly, use your frustrations and negative feelings as a reminder to pray.

Every time you think a negative thought about someone or something, be reminded to pray for them. It’s probably the best thing you can do – and you may be amazed at the effect it has on you! (Let alone them!!)  And if you find this really hard to do (why would I want to pray for something that already causes me pain?) you may be surprised to find that as you do it, you start to think of that person/thing less and less.

So, turn those negative thoughts around – use them as a prayer to God, use them as a reminder to think of the positive things in your life, and use them as reminder to pray into the situation.  If you try this and you start to make it a habit, I think you’ll be amazed at the results – and you may well find the situation that we were feeling negative about changes as well.