“Finding a soul mate is a natural desire for all of us – and being a Christian doesn’t make any difference to that desire. However, as a Christian how we go about our first date will be different and there are some key things to remember. No doubt you’ll be a bit anxious and perhaps excited about whom you are meeting and you’ll be wanting to find out all about them. Here are some good dating questions to ask on a first date and some things to remember as a Christian.

First of all, you obviously need to discover what kind of friendship your date is looking for. Is he or she looking to date a lot of people and have fun or are they looking for “the one” and hope that maybe you’re it?

When you’ve found this out you then know where you’re doing – and of course it all depends what you are looking for too.

Now you want to find out if you are compatible. Part of that is the “hang out” factor. Is this someone you want to spend more time with? Do you feel at ease in their company? Are you comfortable doing similar things?  Do you share some interests? Find out what she likes to do for fun. Would it really matter if she lived to sky dive and you were afraid of heights? Find out how involved your date is at church. It’d be great if you have some Christian activities that you both like to do.

Then there’s the chemistry factor. Is this someone you’re attracted to?

Ask him or her what the most annoying thing is that someone could do to them. If you can laugh about each other’s pet peeves, you’re likely to get along in other ways.

Then there are some very important questions from a Christian perspective that you’ll want to keep in mind and bring into the conversation as the date progresses. As a Christian you are looking for a spiritual mate as well as a soul mate. To that end, you need to find out if your date has a similar strength and interest in their faith that you do. It doesn’t really matter if they are a different denomination to you – get beyond that and find out what their faith actually means to them and whether it impacts on their life in the same way as your faith impacts on your life. If there’s a difference, that’s OK, just think whether in the short (and longer term if it comes to that) you can live with this.  Some easy questions that get you started on this line of thinking are what book or movie has made the biggest impact on your date. The answer should give you a lot of insight into their character. And don’t look just at the answer alone – examine the reasoning behind it. Even if he sites a really spiritual book but he has a really pompous reason, that’s not necessarily a good answer.

Other good questions include:

  • What is your favorite book of the Bible?
  • Would you rather be a Christian music star or a popular music star?
  • Did you ever have to take a stand for Jesus?
  • If you vote in political elections does it matter if the candidate is a Christian?
  • Who would you rather be David or Elijah and why? (or Sarah or Deborah)

You can see that most of this is common sense. Just don’t forget that if you are a Christian and you are looking for a soul mate who shares your faith, finding whether they do or not at the beginning of your friendship is vitally important. There is no point in getting involved with someone and then finding down the road that actually you aren’t compatible faithwise – it will only lead to heartache later on, and this is entirely avoidable if you find out what you really need to in your first date.

How to be the One

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Hello Katharine,   Thank you for your email with the Profile attachment and for a greater explanation of how the sending of Profiles works.   I am grateful to you for this. […]

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How to be the One

Serious about relationships - then this book is for you!How to be the one book