take out the emotion

Take out the emotion

Take out the emotion when buying a horse by Katharine Gray. I am trying to find a new horse. Well it seems to be the hardest thing in the world to find – despite the many thousands of horses for sale. It struck me that it was a bit like dating really. Here’s why.

So I see an advert (like you read a profile). The horse sounds nice and it’s got the right history. OK it’s not local but do you know what….? if it’s the right horse I’ll deal with the distance. I make some enquiries and get some background information. All good at this stage. Now my emotions are going and I’m projecting forward what it will be like to have this particular horse at home. Where will I keep it? How will it look in the field? Will I need to build a stable for it? What will others think? I can’t stop my mind going down this road. (Does this sound familiar as you imagine yourself with your new partner – introducing them to your friends, taking them to church, doing stuff with them, getting a place together?)

And then I arrange to see said horse. I probably have to take time off work or change my normal routine. I will have to pay someone to come with me and pay for my fuel to get there. I may even have to stay overnight if it’s far away.

We turn up…. I’m so excited. Surely this is going to be THE ONE this time – he sounds so perfect.

And then my hopes are dashed and all my dreams crumble (again!) He’s not as he was made out to be. Perhaps he’s lame or has an old injury – or even isn’t fit to be ridden (because of a cold or something else that really needs veterinary treatment!). Or perhaps on viewing another bit of history comes out that I wasn’t told before but that definitely affects his suitability.

I see my riding instructor after yet another failed viewing. I am thoroughly sick to the back teeth of trying to buy a horse and being basically lied to by owners. I want to throw the towel in and forget all about the wretched animals….. and yet I so want a horse.

Is that how you feel when you go on dates and come back disappointed – your hopes dashed and you feel like giving in, deciding you are happier on your own and thinking there obviously isn’t anyone out there for you anyway?

I know how you feel! It is a roller coaster. But here’s what my wise instructor said. Keep looking! Keep going! But – and here’s the thing. You have to take the emotion out of it! Now that is far easier said than done but she’s right. Somehow I have to treat this as a project that I get on with and kick the emotion out of it. Then I can pick myself back up, move on and start looking at the horse adverts again.

And actually, after every failed attempt, I am that bit wiser and that bit more experienced. I know a some better questions to ask and my confidence has increased. And that’s all good.

Yes I could give up but I am not going to let ‘failure’ and disappointment, win the day. “Onward and upwards.” I know that I really do want a horse (substitute soul mate) and I’m going to keep working at it. And you should too.

P.S If you know of a great well proven easy to handle hunter for sale, please do get in touch. But no time wasters please!