The Art of seductive flirting

The Art of seductive flirting

Guest Article by Peter Spalton – The Dating Doctor

Peter Spalton was one of our speakers at the 2018 Dating Academy and presented a wonderful session on the Art of Seductive Flirting. He then gave us some accompanying notes – from which this article has been written. We have already shared ‘Part 1’ and this is Part 2.

Use every part of your body to flirt. Most people, particularly men, tend to concentrate on what they say. But the non-verbal elements (your body language and your voice) are the things that matter most.

However flirting is different for everyone. So make sure you watch other’s reaction and be aware that you can go further in a social setting like a pub than you can at work. Flirt-light at work – limit it to your eyes, your smile and your attitude. Remember flirting should be fun, so both parties should enjoy it.

Men and women flirt differently and have different flirting signals. Women have an astonishing 52 flirting signals which they use to attract a man, men many less. This article is about men’s flirting signals so reading this as a man you may well recognise some of these as things you do naturally (and perhaps weren’t even aware of that they were flirting signals!) – others you may not use but may want to try using. If you are reading this as a woman, then be on the look out for these signals which indicate that a man may well be flirting with you. 

Male Flirting Signals

Most men only have 10 flirting signals. They are more direct and use them to say “look at me” and to show the woman that they fancy her.


He may emulate a gorilla by pulling his stomach in, puffing out his chest and placing his hands in his pockets or on his belt so his elbows stick out sideways. This is a competitive display between men and makes him look big with his hands pointing towards his genitals. If he’s sitting he may open his legs wide to display his crotch. Reving his car engine is exactly the same. 

Up and Down Glance.

You will see his head move as he looks you up and down.

Slow Eyebrow Flash.

Unlike women, most men cannot raise one eyebrow so they slowly raise and lower both eyebrows while looking directly at you.

Self Preening.

He might smooth his eyebrows, brush his jacket or shirt, use his hands to smarten his hair or pull up his trousers.

Leaning Forward when he’s sitting it’s just what it says. He might also lean into your personal space.

Hands to Cheek. He touches the side of his face or cheek with his fingers.

Symbolic Undressing is when he takes his jacket of, loosens his tie and rolls up his shirt sleeves.

Pointing Towards You. He will turn his feet and body so they point to you.

Bragging. Men tend to show off and he may tell you about his big house, expensive car, high-powered job, etc.

Teasing. Men use words to flirt. They will tease you and say things that insinuate sexual ideas.