The A to Z of Christian Dating

 U is for Underwear

Successful dating is all about coming across confidently. It’s hard to approach people if you are feeling unconfident. Also, you are less likely to be approached by someone if you are looking like a bag of nerves hiding in a corner.

You want to feel great about yourself and give off a confident air – an air of confidence is also a very attractive trait.

Now self confidence is a huge topic and it is not just something you can turn on and off. Confidence is something that builds over time and something you have to work on.

However, there is something you can do which is very practical and very immediate that I want to share with you that can have a big impact on how to feel and how you come across to others.

But before I tell you what it is – let me tell you that this is one of those things that you absolutely have to put into practice to see its effects.

I have coached a large number of people on this thing and have seen lots of people poo-poo it and think it’s not worth trying. And I have also seen sceptical people try it and have phenomenal results in terms of how they relate to others and how others relate to them.

Ok so lets get to it.

The thing I want to share with you is how you dress – but one specific of that – is the underwear you wear. You see what underwear you wear can have a big impact on how you feel. For women really lovely, pretty, comfortable, even sexy underwear can make you feel great. Same for men. Crisp, clean new and comfortable underwear can make you feel very different.

And it is YOU that is important here.

No-one but you is going to see this underwear and the effect of it is entirely 100% for your benefit only. The effect of lovely underwear is that it makes you feel special. It’s difficult to describe but wearing the right underwear will help you lift your head high, feel more confident and great about yourself.

It’s not a question of trusting me on this one – you absolutely have to try it out for yourself to find out and experience the effect of it.

You see I’d guess that a huge number of people are walking round with quite old, possibly shabby, certainly grey (from endless washes) underwear. I know some people don’t even put on fresh underwear every day! I guess the thinking is that since I’m single and no-one is going to see my underwear, then why bother wearing nice stuff? And that’s where the wrong thinking is. You are right. No-one is going to see it – but what you have not taken into account is the effect it has on you!

So, here’s what you have to do. If you haven’t got any special underwear, go out and buy something. Perhaps as a woman a matching set of bra and pants that fit well, are comfortable and lovely to look at. Perhaps, as man, your favourite brand. Something that makes you feel good. Now trust me this is a fabulous investment in yourself – again I reiterate not because anyone but you in going to see it at this point – but because of the way it will make you feel and the way those positive confident feelings will affect the way you interact with others.

Let me end with an example of how this works in practice.

One of my private clients was a female solicitor who worked in a very male environment but found it hard to connect socially with her work colleagues (plenty of whom were single and might have been suitable for her!) She traditionally wore very male type work clothes – mostly black and pretty severe in look. This was one of the things we began to work on adding more feminine touches to her outfits and introducing more colour. We’d talked about underwear but for months she didn’t do anything about it. Then in one of our sessions she was very excited to tell me that she’d finally gone out, purchased some really pretty underwear and gone to work in it feeling a million dollars.

She was gobsmacked at what happened. A number of male colleagues came up to her and started chatting and one of them even asked her at the end of the day what had happened in her life because today she seemed so much more relaxed and approachable!

Of course, only she knew what the difference was and she told me the story saying she only wished she had bought the underwear months earlier.

As I said, this is something you can’t understand until you actually try it.

You might think, like my client did, that it really won’t make any difference to you, but my challenge then to you is – go out, buy some new underwear and actually try it. You might just be amazed and delighted at the effect it will have.

So, as I said at the beginning – it’s a small thing but it can make a big difference to how you feel. And if you need more confidence in dating this is a great, quick and easy way to start.

Ed I suggest you find a decent (not SLEAZY SEXY) picture of some really nice men’s and women’s underwear. It’d be good to have pictures of both.