Are you spending Valetines Day Alone?

Does that get you down? Well apparently only a tiny segment (like 0.05%) of people actually enjoy St. Valentine’s Day so you’re not alone in that regard!

That statistic doesn’t come as much a surprise to me, seeing as the Day has been taken over by mass commercialism and the feeling that one has to show your loved one that you love them on this day (as opposed to any other day of the year of your own choosing.)

In the old days, St. Valentines day was simply an opportunity for people to show their true feelings to someone they liked – it was a way of getting their attention if you like – and it was very romantic in the ways that that was done.

But nowadays there seems to be a different focus – that of buying generally expensive and probably overpriced gifts, taking your loved one away, or at very least out for a special meal. But where does that leave those of us that are single?

Down in the doldrums I’d say – because if you’re anything like me, my letter box wasn’t overflowing on 14th February and I certainly can’t remember receiving bouquets of flowers. I do remember though hoping that someone out there might have noticed me – or even that my family or friends might be thoughtful enough to send me a card! Generally that didn’t happen – and so I was always glad when the day was over and the shops went back to being normal (and not having red everywhere) and LOVE wasn’t pushed at me all day long wherever I went or looked.

If you think (or know) you’re going to be spending Valentine’s Day alone, and you’re rather dreading the whole period, then here’s a suggestion you might like to think about and act on that could well make this Valentines Day different and rather life changing.

First of all, write down how many Valentines day’s you’ve spent alone in the past 5 -10 years. Don’t be depressed by the number. Writing it down is just an aid to help you move forward! Now assuming you’d rather not be alone (at all – let alone on this particular day of the year) write down what actions you’ve taken in the past one year to enlarge your circle of friends – and find that someone special.

Write a line for each action you’ve taken. You might include things like: joined a new social activity, joined a dating site/introduction agency, visited a new church etc

Now here’s the question. How long is your list? This exercise is to prompt you to see what actions you’ve taken in your life recently to change your situation.

It’s the same as deciding you want to learn to play tennis. Just desiring to play isn’t enough to make it happen. No you’d have to research local clubs to join, find an instructor to teach you, buy the right equipment, start taking lessons, do regular practice etc.

And it’s just the same in the relationship world. It’s no good getting to St. Valentine’s day each year and wishing you weren’t alone. You have to do something about it. And if it’s going to happen, then it’s down to you and you only.

Now you might not think the above exercise is much fun, but its purpose is to stir you to action. Because without action there’ll be no results.

The next part of the exercise is to make a plan of how you’re going to meet lots of new people over the coming six to twelve months so that for Valentines Day 2018 you’re not in the same position as you are this year. Again you might list ideas like join a social club where you’ll meet people who share your interests, ask your friends to introduce you to singles they know, research and join a dating organisation, go to single’s events or events where there will be other singles you can meet. Brainstorm as many idea’s as possible.

Once you’ve brainstormed as many ideas as you can, look back through your list and decide which items you’d like to do and which you know you won’t do. Then put a date by those you’re going to commit to do – the date being the day you’ll have actioned this point.

The point of this whole exercise is to make this Valentines day count! It’s going to be the day you took action, the day when you decided to make things different in your life. It’s not going to be another day when you just wished things were different. Not another Valentines’ day when you were jealous of those loved up couples, or people sending or receiving Valentine’s day cards. Because those sort of feelings don’t get you anywhere – in fact they make life worse. Whereas making a plan and getting going on it, makes life better. It gives you hope and a future (just like Jeremiah 23:11 teaches us).

Follow this advice and here’s what your future could well look like. In time, as a result of something you’ve done on your action plan, you meet someone special. They turn out to be rather lovely and you get together. Close friends ask you to tell you how you met, and then you remember….. It all started on the day you spent Valentine’s day alone back in 2017. On that day, you made a plan and you took action. And from there all sorts of things began to happen in your life that hadn’t happened before. And then you met Mr / Miss Right.

Finally if you’ve tried all sorts of ways of meeting others and have drawn a blank then you should consider joining friends1st.

Finally if you’ve tried all sorts of ways of meeting new people and drawn a blank because it’s essential (or important) for you to meet people who share your faith, then you should seriously consider joining friends1st. Look around the rest of our site to read about us. Essentially we’re a 99.9% off-line organisation which has been operating for 17 years introducing single Christians to each other. (The 0.1% online is this information sharing website!) We provide our members with support and encouragement in finding new friends and special companions, and send out matches to members every month. We’re very successful and hundreds of people have find long term relationships through us. There’s no reason why you too shouldn’t find your Mr or Miss Special through us too.

So if you put ‘Join a dating agency’ on your list of things you’re going to do to find a partner, then friends1st is one of the best agencies you’ll find. You can read all about the different services we offer on our MEMBERSHIP page, and find the service that best suits your unique circumstances.

And to celebrate your taking action and making Valentine’s day 2017 really different this year,  we’d like to give you a special offer. Make your decision to join us by 20th February and we’ll give you a 16% membership discount. That’ll save you over £84 to almost £400 on membership depending on which membership you choose.

Just put VAL17 into the PROMO code box to apply your discount to the membership fees and we’ll look forward to welcoming you as a friends1st member and helping introduce you to lots of lovely members in the next year.

So have a great St. Valentine’s day and even if you’re spending Valentine’s day alone remember use this day wisely and it could be the best day to the rest of your life.

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